Over the past year or so, I've realized something -- I can't live without writing, singing and performing music. I can't. I've tried to in the past, due to feelings of guilt or fear or trying to find all of my happiness in one basket. But as I'm thinking about my 40th birthday coming up in December, I realize that this is something I need to do for myself.
It's why I started writing in the first place. I've never been great at expressing my emotions. Part of that comes from being a guy, I believe, and part of that comes from not having practiced it throughout my life. For the past year and a half, I've been working on that part of me -- expressing how I truly feel -- and I've received a tremendous amount of healing help from my fiancee, Nici. But before that, and even now, the best outlet I've had is in writing songs.
I was at at bar this past summer, watching an open jam, when the jam leader took a break and sat down by me. I asked him how he was doing, and he said he was okay. I asked him if he writes much, and he said no. He went on to say, "I wish I could write something that people liked, but I'm not sure anyone would listen to my songs." Now, while I understand that sentiment, I told him that I don't write for other people. I write for me. I have to write to survive. It's been the truest way for me to process everything that has happened in my life with regard to pain, brokenness, love, triumph, the Divine, and so on... For whatever reason, this bug has been planted in me, and I'm blessed to have this in my life.
To all those who have offered encouragement over the years, I want to say thank you. And to all those who have been broken, to those who have seen the rain and the sun, to those who know what it means to be human, I hope that this music brings you something to listen to as you travel this journey called life. If it's not my music, then I hope you find your song, whatever that may be.
Take care, and I hope to see you on the road...